Psychological exploration SMS chat can easily cause communication fear
Ms. Wang is an employee of a company in Beijing. She has a good education background and a high income, and she is very beautiful.
But recently she started to worry about one thing.
Due to her long-term reliance on cell phone text messaging and chat software to chat with her friends, she is now very scared to talk face to face, even when making a call, it will be difficult and she always wants to hang up.
This situation does not occur when talking with a close friend, and it is also easy to talk with strangers, but it is manifested when interacting with people who are more familiar but have ordinary relationships.
When walking in the corridor of the unit, she would be afraid to meet her colleagues, because she didn’t know what to say, she just walked away quickly or pretended she didn’t see it.
Her heart is very enthusiastic and she wants to talk to others. She is also a very enthusiastic and charming person when texting and chatting on the Internet.
She was very upset about this matter.
The situation of Ms. Wang is not very individualized. Through the continuous enrichment and development of communication methods, there are more and more cases of social obstacles caused or exacerbated by excessive reliance on modern communication methods.
People who love fantasy and like to escape are prone to this. Xiang Cheng of the Chinese Psychological Association believes that everyone will have fantasy, but some people will have stronger fantasy than ordinary people. These people will often imagine themselves as Snow White. FantasyOne day the Prince Charming will come, but in reality it cannot be achieved.
That being the case, there will be unsatisfaction in one way or another.
They immerse themselves in a fantasy world, subconsciously in order to escape unsatisfactory reality.
Some people go further than “fantasy”. They are very unsatisfactory in the real world, so they seek “alternative satisfaction” and put everything that cannot be achieved in the real world into the fantasy world.
They all live between fantasy and reality.
Sending text messages and chatting on the Internet avoids face-to-face contact with people, and there is a little room for imagination.
They use this imaginary and magical way to interact with people, creating some fantasy space for themselves, and also avoiding some embarrassment in the actual communication.
This reason a pair of online dating “see the light die.”
In the imaginary world of the Internet, both sides of the conversation imagine each other perfectly, and talking to the perfect person is also a kind of enjoyment. Some people can enjoy the “perfection” of their own weaving, and once they meet, thisPerfection will be broken, disappointing both sides.
And various public opinions have rendered “seeing the light die”, which has aggravated people’s fear of face-to-face chat to a certain extent, and further extended to the obstacles of face-to-face chat with people who know but are not familiar with.
Fear of face-to-face dialogue is because of inferiority. Everyone has a self-defense, but to a different degree.
Those who are afraid to talk face to face have a very strong self-defense mentality.
From the bottom of their hearts, they are afraid of others’ understanding of their true self, so they always wrap themselves up to avoid association.
They are afraid of being too strong by others to observe.
In face-to-face interaction, people always observe each other, which makes them feel very uncomfortable, and even displays somatization symptoms: blushing, incoherent speech, limb disharmony, etc.
From a psychological perspective, self-confidence is the degree of self-acceptance.
A person who can fully accept himself is very confident, otherwise he is inferior.
These people do not like their true selves very much, and they are extremely inferior.
They try hard to hide their true selves, and easily do not reveal their true side. The expression is that they are afraid to associate with people, and even occasionally meet and talk with people they know will feel contradictory and always want to escape.
For these reasons, they are happy to hide themselves behind a barrier, deceive themselves by giving themselves a sense of security, try not to talk to others in person, and even use a way of not meeting or even hearing sound.Exchange information.
Communicating terrorists is a projection of the living environment and parent-child relationship. The environment in adolescence is not ideal, and the uncoordinated parent-child relationship at an early age is the source of communicating terrorists.
If you are in an environment that feels unsafe and unpleasant during adolescence, you will have a strong sense of insecurity as an adult and it is not easy to trust others.
Children who live in controlled families, when they grow up, are very afraid to be controlled.
From the perspective of temperament types, people with an introverted variation temperament are most likely to have a tendency to associate with terror.
Meeting the psychological needs of different identities and personality conversions Dr. Xuebing Huang from the Institute of Mental Health of Peking University believes that these people have the need to constantly change their identity, roles, and personality.
In the subconscious, they hope to transform themselves into an unpredictable and charming person through the above transformation.
When texting and chatting on the Internet, they don’t have to face to face with the person they are talking to, or even hear no sound, they just use words to express themselves, so they can disguise themselves well.
Of course, this is not necessary for very familiar people, but for some less familiar people, it is necessary and necessary for them.
From the external environment, work pressure is high, personal experience is frustrated a lot, personality inferiority, negative will make people horrify communication.
And chatting behind such a virtual barrier can give people a sense of breakthrough security and release themselves. Why don’t you only meet people who are “familiar with you”? For everyone, there are not many concerns when dealing with completely strangers. There is also no concern when dealing with very familiar people.
For example, if you fall down on the street in a very unsightly way, you will comfort yourself when you get up. It doesn’t matter. There are no people I know around.
If you accidentally fall in your own home or a friend you know very well, you will not be very embarrassed.
But if you fall in love with someone who knows you but doesn’t know it well, it will feel very awkward.
Furthermore, this is the role played by a person’s psychological “self-boundary.”
The so-called self-boundary is the boundary between a person and others under the constraints of a social role.
In other words, how close one is psychologically acceptable to others.
These people have very clear boundaries.
When dealing with completely strangers, since the two sides have no understanding at all, of course, the boundaries of self are within their acceptable range.
Dealing with very familiar people, because in the process of familiarity with each other already set the psychologically acceptable boundaries, there is no sense of contradiction.
SMS chat and communication horror, chicken or egg yolk first, said that the preference for SMS chat and communication horror is interrelated and affects each other.
In fact, people who are horrified by communication are afraid to chat face-to-face, but they also need to chat and socialize, so they will mostly choose this type of communication in the virtual world.
At the same time, chatting in a virtual way gives them a great sense of security, and people have an instinct for a sense of security, which leads them to immerse themselves in the “security” created by themselves and make communication horrible.Greatly exacerbated.